Sunday, June 10, 2007

misc musings

I am normally a healthy person. I don't like to take medications. In real life, I take a multivitamin and calcium. I don't take anything else, except an occasional Advil if I have bad cramps and need to be functional.

So I'm taking chemotherapy, of course, which I wouldn't dream of denying in the name of not taking medicine. I'm also taking something for my kidneys, to help prevent stones. I'm taking a stool softener for my poor inflamed butt. I have a painkiller for whenever I need it (been taking it just at bedtime for this dumb pain in my chest that is getting better .... slowly).

So many pills. And I'm not allowed to take the multivitamin because it could hinder the effects of the chemo. It's very strange for me.

I'm getting used to not having stamina. For a while, it was "but I just ran a 5K six weeks ago" but I've gotten over it and am looking forward to getting back to the gym and on the weight machines and running and biking and getting back into shape.

And with the weight I've lost, it'll be a little bit easier to have a crisp, built look ;)

If my hair is going to fall out, it should start happening in about another week to two. I'm not really worried about that. I think I'll be OK hairless. I am curious to see what it would grow back in like.

The weirdest thing sets me off crying, though. Ready for this true confession? Jordan Sparks. The girl who won American Idol a few weeks ago. (She was from this area — it was a big deal here.) I was watching American Idol for the first time ever the evening after my cancer diagnosis was confirmed. I watched her win and cried and was so sad that she got to learn that she was the new American Idol and I got to learn that I had cancer. I got over it ... or so I thought.

TJ and I were watching the news last night or the night before (it all kind of blends together) and they were showing her singing the national anthem at an NBA game and I cried. Funny how the association stuck. I'm hoping to be able to break that association, as the girl will pop up anywhere here, for a long time, I'm sure, and I'd rather not cry every time I see her...

Today I am feeling really good. I haven't done much to show for it, but that's OK. I did work for a long time on a nasty jigsaw puzzle that was given to me. I got the border done. We'll see how the rest goes...

I haven't had any visitors since Thursday, which kinda bums me out. I wonder if people are busy or if they don't want to get me sick. Not sure. But I've been feeling better the last couple of days and it would be nice to burn off some energy with some friends. So it goes.

It is interesting to note who I hear from and who I don't. Not that I'm keeping score or anything silly like that. It's just interesting. There have been a couple of mild surprises both ways.

I thought there was something else I was going to write about, but I can't recall what it was. Oh well. I'll come back and add it if I think of it.

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