fear

In general, through this ordeal, I have been upbeat about things going on (not including the needles). I believe that I'll get through it -- and in less time than the docs anticipate. Life will be back to normal ASAP.

But, every now and then, I have a strong image of a memorial service ... one of those where there are a lot of people all shaking their heads, saying what a shame it is, how she was so full of energy and was doing good things, etc., etc. You know what I'm talking about?

And then I say to myself, sure, that happens, but it won't happen to me. I'm well on the road to recovery already.

And then a voice says, "No one thinks it will happen to them. Especially not the upbeat, positive people..."

And that's where it ends. Well, I guess it's not, because it does go away and leaves me alone for a while.

I'm hoping that taking it out of the dark corners of my mind and putting it out in the light will help to diffuse its power. I haven't decided yet if I'm going to e-mail it, too, or just leave it here.

Accepting passing thoughts......