fertility

One of the issues facing young cancer patients that is just starting to get a bit of attention is fertility. Cancer treatments are designed to kill cancer ... and whatever else needs to be killed in order to kill cancer. It's been my experience and my opinion via conversations with others that the field of oncology isn't especially interested in anything that isn't cancer. Unfortunately, that means a lot of side effects are blown off, including but not limited to fertility.

Before I began treatments for my lymphoma, I was told that one of the possible side effects of the chemo was early menopause: my periods would stop during treatment and they might or might not start again.

I only missed one period.

Since chemo, however, I have had a bunch of other odd hormonal side effects that are annoying and slightly disconcerting but probably not life-threatening. No one can tell me why they're happening or if they're a problem (oncologist, primary care doc, ob-gyn), so I've never really been sure if all of the plumbing is working properly or not.

We have confirmation that all systems are in order — I am pregnant!

I have seen two docs so far —one at a birthing center and one in a regular office — and neither was of the opinion that my cancer history is a problem. I suspect that it being in a different part of my body is a big deal, and being in remission for over three years probably helps, too.

So I'm officially on my next wacky body journey, but this time cultivating the growth instead of trying to get rid of it. We'll see how it goes!

results continue to be good

I had another check-up with my oncologist yesterday.

At this point, I have bloodwork and a chest x-ray before each visit. As has been the norm, they were both fine.

He said that the first two years were when it was most likely to recur, and I'm way past that (it was three years in November). "Every day that you go without cancer makes it less likely that it will come back."

Another day down!

Five years is considered "cured." I'm more than half-way there!

He also commended me for being composed throughout treatment and thanked me for not calling him on a regular basis. (I'm pretty sure I never called at all...) Kinda makes me wonder what other folks are like.

Anyway, it was a short, easy visit, as they have turned out to be. And my checkups have been moved to every six months. Hooray!

Hopefully that means there won't be any new posts here until June...

I forgot!

I had an appointment last week and forgot to post an update here...

X-rays are clean, blood work looks good. Next appointment is in four months.

In the mean time, I will cross over the three-year mark (November). Doc said that after my next appointment, I'll graduate to every six months. Hooray!

He also asked if he could refer patients to my training business (YES!). He said he knows me, he knows I've been through it and would be great for people who are looking. I hope he sends some folks over...

So not much to say except that I'm still clean and healthy :-)

progress in the sun

Well, I'm finally seeing progress.

Sun sensitivity was a side effect of the chemo, and because my doc told me that melanoma is a common secondary cancer, I have been vigilant about taking precautions.

My first summer after chemo ('08), I would burn through sunscreen and clothes. It was a summer of staying in the house.

Last summer ('09), I'd burn through sunscreen or clothes, but if I wore both, I'd be OK.

This summer, I'm not burning, as long as I'm covered with one or the other! So last week, I went swimming in my backyard pool during the day for the first time in over three years! Glorious!

That's all the news from here :)

spreading the word: change

My path has been interesting — sometimes easy, sometimes difficult, but it is the only path I know.

It has brought me to a place where I have not only an ability but an obligation to reach out to people, to tell them my story, to let them know that they are not stuck, that change is possible.

This blog is a little piece of that, but I want to make it bigger.

If you have an audience who is looking to hear a great story from a personable speaker that will help them to take the first steps to making the positive changes that they want to make in their lives, look no further!

If you are in the Phoenix metro area, I will speak to your group for no charge. If you are out of the area, I do request that transportation and accommodations be provided.

Please contact me: heather at secondchancefit dot com. You can look at my website at the same URL for more information about me.

another clean scan :)

I had an appointment with the oncologist today, after a chest X-ray and blood work on Thursday. X-ray was clean, blood work looked good. My next appointment is in late May.

Today is two years since I finished radiation. So much has happened in those two years... It feels like much longer ago than that, but I've been a busy chica, and being busy certainly makes time pass more quickly.

This blog has become pretty not interesting, but I guess that's a good thing :)

In the last couple of weeks, I've had three more people comment that I have hair now. This is slightly annoying, since my hair started growing in before I even finished chemo, and that was over two years ago. Not a huge deal by any means, but come on now people. I've moved on. You can, too.

At school, they're participating in the Pennies for Patients drive, which supports people with blood cancers. I'm pretty sure this had nothing to do with me, that it's coincidence. But I told the counselor, who is organizing the whole thing, that if she wanted to let kids know that I had a blood cancer, so this might help people like me, she was welcome to, and that if anyone wanted to talk about it, I'm happy to answer questions. I had quite a few kids ask me questions, which was cool (some of them have been my students for long enough that they remember when I was out). I also had a few kids come in and put change in my box, which I thought was cool. They are competing with other homerooms, so change they give to me doesn't count towards their competition, which makes it that much sweeter for them to do.

I've given up the search for an answer or a cure for chemo boobs. I am dealing with my heart rate issue when I exercise in hopes that it will come down eventually. And I still wear sunscreen, though I don't know if I need to be as vigilant about it or not. No need to press my luck.

Otherwise, lots of good stuff going on professionally and blissfully little to report on the health front. I've been using my NetiPot almost every day when I get home from work, and I'm convinced that is the primary reason that I haven't been sick yet this season. There's still plenty of time, I know, but so far, so good...

Since I decided to stop doing a post a day, I have gotten a bit lazy over here. Well, lazy on the blog.

Fortunately, there's not much going on on the cancer front.

I was given a neat pair of silver earrings in the shape of a ribbon for my two years cancer free anniversary. I wore them to work one day and was asked if they were breast cancer earrings.

ARGH!!! NO!!!!

Shit. Ribbons don't even necessarily signify cancer awareness, much less cancer awareness. The pink ribbon has got to go.

I am still in the process of becoming a Certified Personal Trainer. I have big dreams of opening a small studio in my house where I can help fellow survivors make their bodies strong. I will definitely post more when I have more to post.

In the mean time, just living life. Lots going on at/for work, lots going on with the CPT stuff. I've managed to keep myself healthy so far this school year which is nice (and is no easy task!).

Life is good :-)

Year 3, Day 2

I celebrated two years cancer-free on Saturday! It is fabulous and amazing.

I have been having very significant memory problems recently. I'm not sure it's entirely chemo-brain — why would it suddenly nosedive this far out of treatment? — but I'm sure that's where it's rooted. Even before this recent episode of "What's your name again?" my memory has certainly not been at the same strength that it was pre-chemo. It drives me mad.

I have decided, memory-permitting (haha?), that I am going to attempt to post here every day with something that I'm doing to take care of my body or with news I've come across.

Of course, I was going to start this yesterday and forgot :(

So today's installment is a link to a blog post regarding cancer-related memory issues: click here

my amazing body

My two-year cancer-versary approaches. Chemo ended the week before Thanksgiving, 2007.

There are things with my body that still aren't right. There is muscle strength and endurance that, despite training with a trainer for well over a year, I haven't yet been able to regain. (I will get there, it's just taking an awfully long time.)

But this morning, I had the opportunity again to say F-you to cancer, to chemo, to radiation. I completed my second sprint triathlon :)

My body might not be right yet, or right ever, but I am going to use it and push it and take advantage of having it every day.

Also in the exercise realm, I just started the process to become a certified personal trainer. A far-off goal I have is to start a program for cancer survivors who want to start to get their bodies back (regardless of what shape their body was in before treatment or what shape treatment left it in). It's a ways off for now.

two years!!

Happy two-year cancer-versary to me!

The doc counts years beginning at the end of chemo, which isn't until November, but today is the anniversary of when I got the good news that the cancer was dead — first negative PET scan. Hooray!!

Hodgkin lymphoma is most likely to recur in the first two years, so this is a big milestone!

I plan to celebrate in November, when I get the high-five from the doc. Giving thanks at Thanksgiving indeed!

a video from a long time ago

This is a little outdated, but I just learned basic video editing...

Anyway, the hospital I stayed in does an internal video newsletter once every few months. There is a segment they include called "Patient Perspective" and I was the focus patient in December 2007. This is the clip from the newsletter. Yes, I know the resolution isn't great, but the original was much too large to upload to Blogger.



Chad, my dance teacher, is a great person and a fabulous teacher. He was an amazing help to me through the entire cancer ordeal, just by being himself. (Contrary to what Patricia says in her interview, I actually danced through treatment — I didn't wait until I was done.) Click here for more info about Chad.

it seems like so long ago

I was just thinking tonight, while getting my ass kicked all over the place in spin class, that two years ago, I was in the hospital waiting for the results of the biopsy to tell me what kind of cancer I had. Tomorrow is the anniversary of getting the answer, and Sunday is the anniversary of chemo starting.

It is almost surreal.

It feels like a really long time ago. So much just plain ol' living has happened since then. How fabulous is that?

I am grateful to have a healthy body, and I'm doing my part to keep it that way!

another clean bill of health

I had an appointment with my oncologist yesterday. It was my 3-month check-up. Xray was clean, bloodwork was good, and I don't have to go back for another four months :)

I do want to see a dermatologist, though. Anyone in the Phoenix area have a good one they recommend?

I win :-)

Yesterday, I participated in my first-ever triathlon. It was "sprint" distance, with a 750-meter swim, a 21K bike ride (that's 13.5 miles) and a 5K (3.1-mile) run.

It was hard, and it was amazing, and it hurt, and it was wonderful, and it came one week before the two-year anniversary of me being admitted to the hospital for Hodgkins.

I have taken back my body from the chemo, and I plan to continue to work out, get stronger, gain endurance, and keep my body healthy and strong.

It feels great!

(If you'd like to read more about the race, you can read it here.)

Banner Desert fundraiser

I received an e-mail about a fundraiser for cancer stuff at Banner Desert, where I was treated. There was all sorts of neat stuff in it, including some things I could have an extra degree of participation in, but it's on the same day as my triathlon. So I emailed back and said I was interested but it depended on what time because I'm doing a tri, etc., etc.

It turns out that the event is too early (11 a.m.) for me to participate, but she gave my contact info to the PR person (again) regarding the triathlon. She said that it might be inspiring to others who are going through what I went through. So PR might contact me again! How fun! We'll see...

this morning's check-up

I am freshly home from my appointment with the oncologist.

Chest X-ray came back fine and normal.

Bloodwork came back mostly fine, but white blood cells and lymphocytes are low, so he wants me to have them checked every four weeks.

He said that chance of recurrence is highest in the first two years. One of those is over. He said that because I responded so well to the chemo and because they treated me so aggressively, he doesn't expect there will be any problems.

I mentioned the itchy, and he agreed that it was likely from the pool.

He commended me again for being fit and active, and said that "most women your age are heavy and sedentary, and it really is a shame." I agree (with the shame part, I don't know if "most" are that way or not).

I go back in four months.

I stopped back into the infusion room to say hello, but none of my nurses were there. On Friday, when I had bloodwork done, none of my phlebotomists were there. Where did everybody go? :-(

In any case, I am pleased to still be able to say that I am cancer-free. I hadn't expected otherwise, but I'm not sure that the little almost imperceptible voice of "what if" can be completely turned off.

Back to living life :-)

small odd gratitude

We had some clementines that weren't so tasty any more. I thought I'd juice them and see if the juice was any good, in an effort not to waste them.

While slicing them, it (randomly) occurred to me that I was able to slice them, juice them, and I could have drunk the juice without thinking twice about it. I was grateful not to have fresh fruits on the "do not consume" list any more. It doesn't matter that there's dirt and germs on the peels. My body takes care of them :)

Not sure why that popped into my head this evening, but it did. One more little thing to be grateful for in this strangely the-same-as-before-but-not life after cancer.

a long, fabulous moment of forgetting

On Saturday, I ran a 5K. I am thrilled to report that I beat my previous time by over 5 minutes :)

The race, of course, was outside. I put on my suncreen and didn't think about it again.

That's the first time I was able to "not think about it again" in roughly a year and a half. It felt good (once I realized I had done it) :)

I suspect that I haven't needed to be so concerned about it for a while - take precautions (sunsreen, long sleeves, umbrella when the sun is intense) and let it go. It was nice to let it go.


There have been a barrage of ads for a new(-ish?) cancer center in the area. They claim to have a wide array of services, including homeopathic docs. I wonder if they take patients who have completed treatment just to talk about lingering side effects and nutrition and things like that. I'm going to check into it.

On that topic, they have a billboard that reads, "Anyone who says winning isn't everything has never fought cancer" or something significantly close to that. My initial reaction was "fuck yeah!" but then I got to thinking about it ...

Having cancer has certainly changed my life (though not in the ways that most people inquired about - my partying hasn't decreased at all ;) ). And while of course I would have needed to survive in order for that to happen long-term, I don't think just getting through it would be considered a "win." Or maybe it'd be like a win because the other team forfeited. It seems to me that for cancer survival to be a win, there needs to come from it more than just surviving ... but that's just me.

the itch...

...is definitely pool-related, and putting lotion on right after a shower right after swimming helped a lot.

small panic over :)

we now return to our regularly scheduled program...



(And if you're in AZ, you have 13 days left to make a tax credit donation. I'm accepting. Send me a message for more info.)

reclaiming my body, and some thoughts for Tam

I saw my abs today! It was their first sighting in a year and a half! I finally feel like I'm getting my body back. It has been slow, but little marks of progress along the way make it a little easier.

I decided earlier this week to "test" to see if I still need to wear sunscreen all the time (it's getting a little old...). I had a couple of errands to run each day but was mostly in the house, so I didn't put on sunscreen ... and I have a couple of faint sunspots on my face. Yup, still need to wear it. While I understand that it's a good idea to wear sunscreen in general, if I'm just going to the grocery store and back, it'd be nice to save the few minutes it takes to put it in, as well as saving the sunscreen for when I need it, as well as saving my skin from having that crap all over it. It's OK. It's my price for living right now. Chemo messed up my skin (temporarily), but chemo let me live to complain about it.


And Tam, I read your birthday blog post ... For whatever it's worth, the anti-nausea drugs they gave me made my vision blurry, but my eyes cleared up just about immediately after treatments ended. I had trouble with Neupogen, so they switched me to Neulasta - is that available to you? Maybe it would help more? I needed only one shot, and it sent my white cell count through the roof! I had all kinds of "chemo brain" and often had trouble holding a normal conversation because I couldn't think of words and because I would forget what I was talking about mid-sentence. It went away after treatments ended. I have a little trouble every now and then now, but it's mostly gone. And they said side effects could last for up to 18 months, and I'm still inside of that window. The butt problems went away, too.

As far as life after cancer and its problems ... no, it's not the same as it was Before. But it is good, or it can be good. The scans aren't endless - they just feel like it, especially because we have so much life left. Hell, I'll certainly outlive my oncologist by quite a margin! It is super-easy to get bogged down by all of the negative possibilities — there are so many of them! I have just decided that they are not a possibility, and I do my best to live so that my thoughts, my hopes, and my actions all match. It ain't always easy, but it's worth the work!!

If you want to talk, let's figure out a way to exchange e-mail addresses without posting them here. (If not, that's totally OK, too.)

Hope you are feeling a little better...