I forgot!

I had an appointment last week and forgot to post an update here...

X-rays are clean, blood work looks good. Next appointment is in four months.

In the mean time, I will cross over the three-year mark (November). Doc said that after my next appointment, I'll graduate to every six months. Hooray!

He also asked if he could refer patients to my training business (YES!). He said he knows me, he knows I've been through it and would be great for people who are looking. I hope he sends some folks over...

So not much to say except that I'm still clean and healthy :-)

another clean scan :)

I had an appointment with the oncologist today, after a chest X-ray and blood work on Thursday. X-ray was clean, blood work looked good. My next appointment is in late May.

Today is two years since I finished radiation. So much has happened in those two years... It feels like much longer ago than that, but I've been a busy chica, and being busy certainly makes time pass more quickly.

This blog has become pretty not interesting, but I guess that's a good thing :)

In the last couple of weeks, I've had three more people comment that I have hair now. This is slightly annoying, since my hair started growing in before I even finished chemo, and that was over two years ago. Not a huge deal by any means, but come on now people. I've moved on. You can, too.

At school, they're participating in the Pennies for Patients drive, which supports people with blood cancers. I'm pretty sure this had nothing to do with me, that it's coincidence. But I told the counselor, who is organizing the whole thing, that if she wanted to let kids know that I had a blood cancer, so this might help people like me, she was welcome to, and that if anyone wanted to talk about it, I'm happy to answer questions. I had quite a few kids ask me questions, which was cool (some of them have been my students for long enough that they remember when I was out). I also had a few kids come in and put change in my box, which I thought was cool. They are competing with other homerooms, so change they give to me doesn't count towards their competition, which makes it that much sweeter for them to do.

I've given up the search for an answer or a cure for chemo boobs. I am dealing with my heart rate issue when I exercise in hopes that it will come down eventually. And I still wear sunscreen, though I don't know if I need to be as vigilant about it or not. No need to press my luck.

Otherwise, lots of good stuff going on professionally and blissfully little to report on the health front. I've been using my NetiPot almost every day when I get home from work, and I'm convinced that is the primary reason that I haven't been sick yet this season. There's still plenty of time, I know, but so far, so good...

I don't have breast cancer

While the title of this post could lead you to believe that this post is a rant on Pinktober, and while I could easily rant for a long time about the disgusting commercialization of boobs at the expense of real women dealing with a potentially fatal disease, that's not what this post is about :)

I went to see an ob-gyn about chemo boobs at the recommendation of my PCP. She was a neat lady and I felt like she was competent. She sent me for a mammogram and a breast ultrasound, since breast cancer risk is higher for those who have had radiation to the chest.

I went for those tests the next day. It's funny. At no point have I even remotely thought that I might have breast cancer. And yet, going for a mammogram — my first ever, since I'm just shy of 34 — I was nervous at the outcome.

It varied between pretty uncomfortable and low-grade pain. I can see why women don't go for these things when they're supposed to. The ultrasound, of course, was easy.

The ob-gyn had written the orders so that I could be given the results by the radiologist right then and there, which was nice. I have a few small cysts, but that's pretty normal. Both docs could feel them, though I can't. Nothing to be concerned about. Fabulous.

So later this week, I went to the podiatrist about some plantar warts. In the course of talking, I mentioned that I've had these removed once before, though clearly, it didn't work. He asked if they'd been biopsied. Um... no?

Apparently, there is some kind of carcinoma that looks like plantar warts, and if they've been around for a while and don't respond to treatment, they should be biopsied.

Huh.

Well, in the time that these things (two of them) have been growing, I've had five PET scans. I'm going to need to believe that if they were cancerous, we would have known about that by now. He said that he's never had a patient whose warts turned out not to be warts, and he's been a podiatrist for 30 years, but he's read about it in the literature. At least he's keeping up to date.

And so these little cancer things pop up and pop back down. And it's so weird when and how they show up. And I wonder if I would react to them the same way without my history, and I have to assume it would be different. If I hadn't had cancer, the possibility of a wart being cancer would be ridiculous, because things like cancer happen to other people, to older people, to less healthy people, not to me...

the search for a cure for chemo boobs

Time wears on, and still, my boobs rise and fall like the tides.

OK, maybe not really like tides. But they do swell and un-swell on a monthly basis. Except in June they swelled and didn't un-swell until August, and then it was only part way. And now they're swelling again. It's so weird.

So I went to a doc shortly after my previous post. She told me that everyone has a "thing" from chemo, and that's mine. Wow. That was a highly unsatisfying answer.

I made an appointment with the doc who I had initially wanted to see, but her next appointment was a month out. Again, my appointment was a month away, but I decided she had come highly recommended and that it was hopefully worth the wait.

So on Thursday, I had my appointment. She was great. I don't have any more answers than I had a month ago, but there are lots of things we're going to do to see what answers we get. She also gave me recommendations for supplements to take (vitamin E apparently can help to relieve symptoms of PMS) and called yesterday with a recommendation for an OB-gyn to go to. So I need to make an appointment with her.

It very well may end up that this is just a "thing" and there's not much to do about it — or that the treatment for it is something I'm not willing to do — but at least we're looking for some answers.

it's been doctor week!

I had many doc's appointments this week.

My visit to the new GP was completely unsatisfying. She said that everyone has "a thing" after chemo, and it looks like chemo boobs are my thing. She gave me a referral to a cardiologist (who I saw yesterday). She said she could take the plantar warts out herself (appointment for that was Thursday). She recommended Kirkland (read: Costco) vitamins.

In response to a query about why my water weight from my last period hasn't gone away, she said she didn't think it was water, and asked if I've gotten happy. *sigh* She prescribed me a water pill (which, as it turns out, has sun sensitivity as a side effect, so I've not taken it). She said she didn't think it would do anything, but if I wasn't careful, it would make me pass out. Thanks.

Not a great visit.

I went Tuesday night to the i[2]y meeting about fertility issues. The nurse there suggested that a general hormone panel would be an appropriate first step to finding out what's going on. When I find my next new doctor, I will make an inquiry.

Also at that meeting, I met a Hodgkin's patient. She's almost exactly two years behind me, as far as treatments and all are concerned. She's the first person I've met who has what I had. It was kind of neat to talk to her; I hope we talk again.

Wednesday, I saw the dermatologist. Well, I saw the derm's assistant. She did a full-body check-over, said that my skin looks good, I have a little sun damage on my shoulders (not surprising - years of red shoulders will do that), watch out for changes in about 15 years to the areas where I had radiation, keep using sunscreen but no need to flip out about turning a little pink as long as I'm sunscreen-ed. That was good news and definitely lowered the sun paranoia factor by a lot.

Thursday, I had the plantar warts frozen ... but they're still there. I'll need to look up how long it should take before they disappear.

Friday I saw the cardiologist regarding my crazy high heart rate when I exercise. He said basically that I'm unusual, that HR usually only spikes in people who are sedentary. They're going to do a few tests (next week and the week after) and see what's going on. He said he's not worried and doesn't expect to find anything worrisome and that I should keep doing what I'm doing. He also said that the effects of radiation wouldn't show up for another 10-15 or more years. I'm holding out for them never to show up :)

There it is! So I'm less sun-scared, I'm holding out for answers from the cardiologist, and I'm still looking for a new good doctor. Not bad.

In the mean time, I think I'm ready to register and commit to triathlon #2...

stupid side effects ... still

I am ranty about side effects!

I finished chemo a year and 8 months ago. I expected all of the physical chemo baggage to be gone by now. But I'm still having chemo boobs, and I'm pretty sure that some of my memory issues and struggles with speaking are related to chemo brain.

When I asked my oncologist about chemo boobs, he told me to ask my regular doctor. I made an appointment with a new doctor (my old one is no longer available, which is super-sad) and asked who in the practice would be best equipped to answer questions about chemotherapy side effects. After being on hold for a while, the receptionist came back and gave me an appointment but stressed that they might need to refer me.

Who are they going to refer me to? Is there a branch of medicine that deals with long term side effects of chemo? (If yes, why wasn't I pointed in their direction a long time ago???) If not (which I assume is the right answer), where are they going to send me? To an oncologist? I have one already.

It will be interesting.

I have a laundry list of questions for her. I want to ask about chemo boobs and chemo brain, and when they're going to flippin' GO AWAY. I had some weird breathing troubles at the end of my triathlon and again once when I was training at the gym; I'd like to know what might cause that to happen. My heart rate is pretty high when I exercise; I want to know if that's a problem (and if/how I can ever make that better). I have some plantar warts on my right foot and need a referral to a podiatrist who can make them go away. (They were removed once, about 4 years ago...) I want to know about vitamins and supplements and which ones she might recommend as being the most effective/safest.

I have a lot of questions :) I hope she has at least *some* answers.

The whole thing is ... frustrating. The oncologist's job, as far as I can tell, is to make sure I don't die of cancer. Great! He did that. I'm exceptionally grateful to him for that. But there are other things going on that are impeding my quality of life. Who deals with those?

The local chapter of i[2]y is having a meeting next week on Tuesday regarding fertility issues. I am planning to go, as chemo boobs would be tied into hormones and therefore fertility. Maybe it'll be good.

I'm realizing, through reading comments of people on Facebook, that my way of looking at my cancer seems to be different than many other young adult cancer survivors. There is a conversation going on about people who are depressed when they finish treatment. The structure of treatments is gone, the friends who are nurses and other patients are suddenly not there on a regular basis any more. I get that. but DUDE! You're ALIVE! Celebrate! But that's just me, apparently.

I wonder if this is what made the difference for me: I never thought of cancer or chemo or how my life was at the time as "the new normal." It was always just an aberration. A long, pain-in-the-ass-kinda-scary-sometimes-terrifying inconvenience. And so when it was over, I was joyful! It was like I'd been sitting at this damned light forever and it finally turned green.

Is my life "back to normal"? In most ways, yes. I am working, I am exercising, I am over-extending my schedule, I am not sleeping enough, I am doing all the things I was doing before this ordeal. Is my psyche the same? Nope. It changes you. It has to. I don't think you can come up against any life-threatening experience and not leave a changed person. It hasn't changed me in the clichéd way that people asked about. But if nothing else, it's always there. It's not part of my daily routine. It's not part of my regular consciousness. But it's definitely there.

Going back to the thing on Facebook. The consensus in the small sample of people is that the oncologist should be taking care of their patients' mental health needs through this process. I completely disagree. Therapists who are trained to deal with cancer patients and survivors should absolutely be made available by the oncologist (or his/her office/nurses), but I don't think it's the oncologist's job. That's not what they're trained in.

I would like to help people who need help in dealing with cancer as a diagnosis, or cancer as a part of their history, or anything in between. I'm not really sure how I best can do that. If you have suggestions, please post them.

I'll let you know what the doc says on Monday. I am also going to see a dermatologist on Wednesday. Hopefully, there will be no news on that front.

The saga continues...

Also, I just have to mention that while my hair started growing back in October '07 (before chemo ended!), and I have been getting regular hair cuts for the last year, I still occasionally get comments on having "all that hair!" Bets on when the last comment will be made? I would have lost that bet already...

another clean bill of health

I had an appointment with my oncologist yesterday. It was my 3-month check-up. Xray was clean, bloodwork was good, and I don't have to go back for another four months :)

I do want to see a dermatologist, though. Anyone in the Phoenix area have a good one they recommend?

this morning's check-up

I am freshly home from my appointment with the oncologist.

Chest X-ray came back fine and normal.

Bloodwork came back mostly fine, but white blood cells and lymphocytes are low, so he wants me to have them checked every four weeks.

He said that chance of recurrence is highest in the first two years. One of those is over. He said that because I responded so well to the chemo and because they treated me so aggressively, he doesn't expect there will be any problems.

I mentioned the itchy, and he agreed that it was likely from the pool.

He commended me again for being fit and active, and said that "most women your age are heavy and sedentary, and it really is a shame." I agree (with the shame part, I don't know if "most" are that way or not).

I go back in four months.

I stopped back into the infusion room to say hello, but none of my nurses were there. On Friday, when I had bloodwork done, none of my phlebotomists were there. Where did everybody go? :-(

In any case, I am pleased to still be able to say that I am cancer-free. I hadn't expected otherwise, but I'm not sure that the little almost imperceptible voice of "what if" can be completely turned off.

Back to living life :-)

no more PETs!!

I had an appointment with my oncologist this afternoon. I already knew via phone call that I had another negative PET scan a couple of weeks ago, so I expected nothing useful in this doc's visit ... which is OK :)

So while there was no new info, per se, he did say that in three months, instead of getting another PET scan, I should have just a chest X-ray; he wants to limit my radiation exposure. Unless the X-ray shows something or I have symptoms, I am DONE with PET scans!!! Hooray!!! No more IVs! No more radioactive injections! Hooray hooray hooray!!!!

This whole stupid cancer thing is more and more becoming a thing of the past. Not that I'll ever be rid of it (and with all I've been through, why would I disown it?), but it sure is nice for bits and pieces of it to fall by the wayside!

My one-year-mark is in just over a month :)

And, unrelated, one of the chemo nurses came to talk to me just before I checked out. We were talking about health and fitness. We had talked while I was going through treatment, and she is recently having some troubles, blah blah. It was cool for her to seek me out, though :) She said she's considering joining my gym. We could be workout buddies :)

Ahhhhhhhhhh...... :) I feel good!

hair project

First, good news: I saw the radiologist today who said that I don't need to see him any more :) I'm down to one doctor, once every two months. Rock on :)

Here's what the hair's looking like these days:

I love giving good news :)

I had another appointment with the oncologist on Monday. He confirmed that the PET scan results were negative. The chunk of scar tissue has shrunk slightly. Blood levels are all normal. Lymph node is just about gone. And I don't have to go back for two months :) Hooray!

Goodness goodness goodness all around :)

general update

I had my monthly check-up on Monday last week.

My lymph node is still swollen. It has gotten marginally smaller, maybe. Definitely hasn’t gotten bigger. Definitely hasn’t gone away.

“You know, I can’t guarantee that that’s not cancer.”

I know. I’m willing to do whatever needs to be done, but I don’t want to do anything extra. If he says, “You know, that needs to come out so we can biopsy it,” well, let’s get it out! But he maintains that it’s OK to be watching it for now, so we’re watching. I’m not feeling really stressed about it, though I suspect that some “background tension” will be noticeably absent when this little thing isn’t puffy any more.

Skin is still sensitive. I’ve been in sunscreen and/or long sleeves all the time. I’ve been using Neutrogena Ultra-Dry Sheer Touch SPF 45. Last time I went to the store, there was only SPF 55, so I got that. No big deal, right? Well, while I was in NJ, putting on sunscreen started to burn my face. (Not a sensation I’d recommend.) Then just plain moisturizer burned. Then soap and water. Then I had a rash. So I stopped using the sunscreen and was careful to stay out of the sun as much as possible.

I checked the two bottles of sunscreen when I got home. As it turns out, SPF 45 and 55 have very different ingredients. I am hoping that the problem was just something in the 55 that’s not in the 45. I haven’t had sunscreen on since Saturday, but my face accepts moisturizer now. I am going to try sunscreen this afternoon before my commute home. If it’s not the sunscreen and it’s my face, I’m not sure what I’m going to do…

The doc didn’t have much else to say, except that it’s time for another PET scan. I have it scheduled for Friday, but I won’t get results from it until my next appointment, which is on the 19th. I assume that if there’s a problem, they’ll call me, and that as long as I just keep my next appointment, all news should be good news.

I got copies of my most recent blood work, and for the first time in almost a year, all levels of everything are normal!! My immune system is finally back up and running in the realm of “normal,” though I’m not sure where is typical for me specifically. No matter. It’s good to be able to take myself off of the “immuno-compromised” list.

My hair is driving me batty. I’m not sure that this hair project is going to last a whole year. I’ll post pics later this week, but I think it’s going to need to be cleaned up. It’s coarser than it was before (though not terribly so), which might be why it’s resisting being parted. It’ll probably just need to be longer. But I need to clean it up. I’m kind of missing the days of #2 all the way around.

In general health … TJ and I have been vegetarian at home now for two or three months. It’s been going well and has been much easier to do than we had anticipated. We have had lots of very tasty food that just doesn’t happen to have meat in it. I’ve also finally gotten my sugar cravings back under control (which is to say, close to non-existent).

In cancer-preventing health:

I have replaced the plastics that I was using for lunches and other food storage with glass. I’ll use plastic to hold dry goods in, but that’s all at this point. This includes not drinking bottled water. (At this point, if I drink bottled water, I can taste the plastic.) The only thing I can’t find is an ice cube tray that isn’t plastic…

I had been avoiding grilled meats, but going veggie made that a lot easier.

I’m overly careful with the sun (“Melanoma is a common secondary cancer” – no thanks! once was enough!) and am looking forward to the sun not being an adversary any more. I’m adapting to constant sunscreen and can probably do that indefinitely without too much bitching, but the long sleeves and staying out of the sun with sunscreen on is not making me happy.

Unless I know that I’ll be on for about two minutes or less, I don’t use my cell phone without the earpiece. I read some studies they’re doing have shown that cell phone use causes cells to do funky things that they don’t normally do. No specific cancer link (yet?), but I don’t need to wait for more info, really.

I have cut out artificial sweeteners whenever possible (I don’t always know, and I don’t always remember). I know those links are not strong, but that there’s a link at all makes it worth it. I figure, stuff that is that processed isn’t good for your body anyway, regardless of its potential as a carcinogen.

I think that’s all, but it’s been plenty. Aside from the sun thing, I feel comfortable in these changes. And really, I think they’re all healthy, even if they have no bearing one way or the other on cancer.

I’m starting to work on my book in slightly more tangible ways than just thinking. It’s kind of fun :) I hope it turns out well.

*whew* I think that’s the complete update for the moment. Pictures in a couple of days, then updates on the latest PET scan, once I have news.

quick update on the doc's appointment

Well, I forgot my paper with my questions, so I didn't remember to ask them all.

I wear sunscreen on all uncovered parts whenever I leave the house. Today, I am wearing short sleeves, so I put sunscreen on my arms before leaving work. By the time I got to the doc's, my right arm was sunburned. That kinda answered the sun question. I asked anyway, and he said that it would be best if I wore long sleeves. "Indefinitely?" "For a while." I'm not sure how long that is, and I didn't inquire. So I'm going now to look for one or two long-sleeved shirts (one definitely in white) that I can wear over my short sleeves when I'm outside.

I've been having the weird skin sensitivity lately, like I had during chemo. It's not nearly as bad, but it is noticeable. I asked about that, and he said that he wasn't concerned about it. (The doc's answers aren't great for those of us who like to know "why" -- he's just answering from a "should I be concerned" perspective.)

He listened to my lungs without my request, and he said nothing about them, so I assume they are fine. If I continue to have the same problem with exercising, I'll call.

The swollen node is about the same - everyone agrees - so no action necessary at this time. I should call right away if I notice a change for the worse (no kidding!!).

And I'll have another PET scan 3 months from the previous, so that will be mid-to-late May, the year-mark of when this all started. The end of the school year approaching is raising a bit of anxiety in me. Funny, since the point in the school year had nothing to do with everything that happened. Ahhh, associations.

So that's where it's at right now.

every now and then, it taps me on the shoulder...

It’s all kind of surreal.

It’s different than denial.

I mean, I know I had cancer.

I remember a lot of it more clearly than I would like to.

Yet it still doesn’t feel real, somehow.

I had an appointment at the radiologist’s this morning, to check on my swollen node. It’s still swollen, but it’s about the same as its been all along. (It was kind of annoying, actually. From the time I got out of my car to the time I got back in was 15 minutes. I could have just called and said, “Yep, I’ve been checking it every day, and it’s still the same.”)

I noticed on my way in and out that the paintings we did at the Day of Art are framed and hanging in the hallway. I could see mine. Mine was a tribute to all of the people who carried me through the journey: medical staff, husband, friends, family. It is not a fabulous painting, but it says what I wanted it to say.

Seeing it made me want to cry. Writing about it makes me want to cry. I can’t entirely pinpoint why, either.

I went running Saturday late afternoon. It was easily the hottest it’s been for an outdoor run for me since before diagnosis, and the sun, while low, was still up. I did my usual 2-mile (my house up to Baseline and back), which I’ve been able to run without walking for quite some time now.

I couldn’t run it.

I ran all the way to Baseline and did a combination walk/run the whole way back. The whole second mile. I was completely out of breath and tired. (Legs felt OK.)

This funky incident (which was most likely a result of me not being used to the weather), had me in tears by the time I cooled down. I was out of breath, which is a problem I haven’t had, which *must* mean there’s something wrong, which *must* mean that the long-dead cancer is causing problems.

Shit.

I wonder if this paranoia ever goes away. I don’t like it.

Well, in any case, I have an appointment with the oncologist this afternoon. Questions I have:

- when do the side effects of the chemo wear off once and for good?
- I love being outside in the sun. As long as I wear sunscreen vigilantly, is the sun something I need to avoid? Are clothes sufficient barriers, or do I need more sunscreen than I thought?
- is the restriction on hot tubs, hot showers, massages, etc. permanent, or was that just during treatment?
- the funky blue veins in my chest are still visible, and the area inside my left collar bone is still slightly swollen. Shouldn’t that have gone away by now?
- please listen to my lungs – I had some issues when I was running over the weekend.

*sigh*

Yeah, if you have the opportunity to miss sharing this adventure, that would be a good thing.

swollen node, exercise

I saw the radiologist yesterday (for an appointment that was scheduled on my last day of radiation). He checked out my still-swollen lymph node, measured it, said he wants to see me back in 4 weeks, and if it gets any bigger, they'll have to biopsy it. I knew that already. So on March 24, I'm seeing both docs: one before school and one after school. *sigh*



I recently joined 24 Hour Fitness. It has been fabulous getting back to the gym, lifting weights, not running alongside traffic, etc. My membership package came with four training sessions. I'm looking forward to them :)

If you ever want to get me a gift, they sell gift cards :)

I still need to pick a 5K to run in March. We'll see about that...



Hair picture in a few days!

thoughts from the doc

I called this morning for an appointment. They had a 1:00 appointment with the nurse available. I took it.

The nurse agreed that my left neck lymph node was swollen and inquired about sore throats, nasal drainage and the like. I've had some of each every morning when I woke up, but it clears up during the day. (I've been chugging Emergen-C, gargling with salt water, and using the NetiPot in an effort to stave this thing off ... getting enough sleep might help, too...) She said that was likely the reason for the swelling and she'd get me an antibiotic. OK. She left, and I waited ... and waited ... and waited ...

When she finally came back, she said the doc was going to squeeze me in, if I didn't mind waiting. No problem with waiting. I was grateful.

He came in, checked out my neck and armpits, asked the same questions that the nurse had asked. He said that his recommendation would be to come back in two weeks. He said it's probably from the cold I'm fighting off, but that we need to be cautious given my history. He said he could do a biopsy right then, but he wouldn't recommend it. If it *is* cancer again, two weeks isn't going to make a difference. If it's not cancer again, in two weeks, it'll be gone. So I have an appointment for two weeks from yesterday. If it gets any bigger, I should call right away.

I also will be having a PET scan (which was in the works anyway) and should have the results of that at the same appointment.

So that's where it's at. Here's to it all being just a cold .....

misc goings-on

I've been having some chest pain for a while now, similar to that which was previously associated with the shots I got after chemo to keep my white blood cell counts up.

It has persisted though the shots have not. Last time I saw the doc, he said to call if it got worse. Over the weekend, it got worse. It was almost constant (as opposed to very intermittent) and was more intense. Now, don't get me wrong — it has never been excessively painful, even at its increased intensity (I've never taken even an Advil for it, much less anything stronger) — but it's not supposed to be there at all. If I knew it was nothing serious and would go away eventually, I wouldn't think about it at all. But I don't know that yet.

So I went in to see him yesterday. He asked a bunch of questions (same ones he's asked before) and basically ruled out a cardiac problem. It doesn't bother me any more or less when I exercise, and I'm not short of breath or anything like that. I'm set up for a bunch of tests to guess-and-check, starting with a bone scan tomorrow. I don't know what they entail or how long they are, but I'll know soon...

Of course, it hasn't bothered me at all for the last three days. If it stays away, I'm going to see about maybe cancelling the second and third tests — they're not until the 21st. I see the doc again next week on Wednesday, so I'll perhaps have more info then.

In other health news, all bodily systems are up and running as they should be (or at least close to normal) as of about a week and a half ago. Body is healing from the chemo and isn't failing yet from radiation.

Five radiation treatments done, twelve to go.

They're changing my treatments on Tuesday. My time changes Monday and Tuesday (to accommodate my work schedule). I've been going at 8 a.m. Monday I go at 6:20 (!!). Tuesday onward I go at 5:50. Yes, a.m. Pretty heinous. I haven't decided yet if I'm going to leave there (well before 6:15) and go to work, go home and take a nap, or go to the gym. They all have perks and drawbacks that I am too lazy to type right now.

Oh, and there's a possible kink in the hair project: I am going to a wedding in the end of March. Depending on what it looks like by then, I may be wanting a trim. We'll see.

Earlier this week, I was able to jog two miles without walking. This is the first time since May that I've been able to do that. I'm looking forward to being back up to 5K stamina and am hoping/planning to run a 5K in March or April. I think that's a reasonable goal...

PET, facebook, link to pics

Well, the results of the PET are negative. Lots of people around me are really excited about this, and I guess I should be, but I'm not.

The PET in July came back negative, and I've had eight chemo treatments since then. I fully expected this scan to come back negative. I didn't consider it as "good news" (though it is) as much as confirmation of what we already knew.

***

I went to paint at the cancer art day on Wednesday. I had a really great time. I was thinking that I wasn't going to paint anything cancer-related, just paint, but that's not what came out of my brushes at all. I am pleased with what I ended up with, though I might re-do it with pastels, as I think I'd be able to do it better. I'll post a pic once I have it back. The hospital kept them all to make a display.

***

A few weeks ago, during a bout of chemo-induced insomnia, I joined Facebook. I've connected with a bunch of former students, which has been very cool. I've connected with a few other people, as well. I don't go on it all that often, but it sends me email when I have a message or a friend request, so I know when to log in :)

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Pics from the Lymphomathon are here. I'm in the yellow-shirt group shots (front row, center), but there aren't any other good ones that any of us are in :(

video, chemo, upcoming stuff

Well, the PR people wanted to know if they could tape me dancing, so I set up something with Chad and they came and did video. It was a lot of fun :) and dancing requires enough concentration that I didn't much notice the camera. Once I finish treatments and get my body back in shape, I think I might take some dance lessons... maybe TJ will join me...

Tonight, Arizona Wind Symphony has a concert at the new Tempe Center for the Arts. It's a neat place, and I like playing there. The Banner video guy is coming to do more video.

Tomorrow is my LAST CHEMO!! The video guy is coming to do video of that, too (though he's not going to stay for the whole thing).

This seems like an awful lot of video for an internal newsletter, but whatever. It's turning into more of a little documentary. It's bordering on creepy. I will be interested to see what it looks like when it's done.

This morning, I went to have blood taken. While there, I asked the nurse a question about the anti-nausea pills they gave me last time (that didn't work at all). This is what I learned:

There are two different nausea receptors in our body. The IV stuff they give me floods one of those two, and works for about three days. The old prescription I have (compazine) works on the other receptors, but is mild. The new stuff they gave me last week works on the same receptors as the IV, which is why, when I took it on Friday, it didn't do anything.

She recommended that I take compazine starting right during/after chemo, then every six hours, whether I feel like I need it or not. It can be taken as often as every four hours, so if I'm feeling funky, I should move the dosages closer together. And now I know that the other stuff might work if I take it Sunday or Monday, if needed.

So, I have enough compazine left to take it every four hours for more days than I'm likely to need it. Here's to hoping it makes my last chemo weekend closer to the same as a not chemo weekend.

I have a PET scan scheduled for early Tuesday and an appointment with Dr. Radiology on Wednesday morning. I'm hoping the PET results are back in time for that appointment.

On that same Wednesday (a week from today), there is an art thing at the hospital for cancer patients, survivors, etc. I'm going to go over and paint after my doc's appointment. I am trying to think about how I would like to visually represent this journey, but so far, I got nothin'. If you have any thoughts or suggestions, please leave a comment. Even if I don't use it, you never know what's going to trigger a new idea.

A week from Saturday is the No Mo Chemo party. (I'm making CDs to play - if you have suggestions/requests, let me know soon :) ) I am so happy to be ending this phase of treatment. I was talking this morning to a guy who I've seen regularly at the office. He's been coming 'round since December or January, and his conversation implied that he had radiation before that. I don't know what kind of cancer he has or if it's the first time he's had it, but I'm glad that I'm not coming up on a year of chemo...

(If you are a local, you should have received an Evite for the party. If not, e-mail me, and I'll send it to you.)

chemo #11 - almost done

Well, yesterday was chemo #11.

My doc's appointment went pretty well. We talked for a few minutes about all my new nasty side effects last time around. He brainstormed a little (had I been in contact with people with a bug?) and gave me some new anti-nausea meds. He also told me if they didn't work, to call for something else, not just to sit around in misery. Good to know.

I should have had chemo at about 10:30. Just about that time, one of the nurses came out and said that they didn't have the results of my labs and that they were re-ordering them STAT but that it would likely take about four hours. She confirmed my phone number. I came home and went back later when they called. I'm glad I live nearby.

I had a few funky weird sensations that I've not had before while the drugs were being dripped. They weren't painful, but they caused me some concern, partially because they were mostly in my chest, and partially because I've never had them before.

If this weekend is as bad as last time, I'm going to ask the doctor when I see him how necessary this last treatment is. I'd rather not be really sick and just take the last one and be done ... though a weekend of throwing up might be worth getting out of some chemo. We'll see what happens.

Anyway, the doc and I also talked about weight. He said it is unusual for him to see a patient who isn't overweight. We talked about exercise and how great it is. We talked about how risky being overweight is as far as cancer is concerned, not to mention diabetes and heart disease. When I send out my e-mail update, I'll put more about that in there, including a couple of links that I happened to have read on Wednesday. (I'll post the links here, too, some time later.)

I decided to hold off on the update until this weekend is over, to see how it goes.

Feeling mostly OK so far.

That's about all from here. More after the weekend, most likely...