Second Chance

I just scanned through my posts and can't believe I haven't posted here...

Back in June, I opened my own fitness center! For anyone who's been following all along (or long enough), you know that keeping my body moving is a priority. You know that I exercised whenever I could through treatment. You know that my oncologist attributed my good health to my relative ease of side effects through treatment. You know that since the active cancer experience ended, I've completed three triathlons.

You might not know that years ago, before cancer was part of my daily living, I was quite heavy. I changed how I ate, I started exercising, I lost weight, I felt (feel) great. Baby steps. No fad diet. No hours upon hours on a treadmill. Lifestyle changes. Pieces I could handle when I could handle them.

You might know that I am a teacher. I teach elementary band for a living, but really, in my essence, I am A Teacher. I can't imagine a career that had no teaching component in it, regardless of the content.

Put this all together, and you have Second Chance FitCenter. I converted a room in my house into a studio. I want to help people who want to make changes to their lives, whether it's because they want to lose weight, they want to reclaim their bodies during or after cancer, or they just want to be in better shape (to whatever that means to them). I'm not your go-to gal if you want to shave half an hour off your marathon time.

Sound interesting? Take a look at my website: www.secondchancefit.com. You'll find my story, my services, my philosophy, testimonials from those who have been working out with me since April (I've been certified that long and took on a few "practice clients" before opening my doors to the public), links to reviews on Yelp and Merchant Circle, my contact info.

Check it out, pass it on.

the latest happenings

Well, I haven't had much to say lately, which is a good thing!! Life has been moving on. (Don't get the impression that this happens on its own — I've been making a lot of that life happen!)

I have become a certified personal trainer and am starting my own side business in my home. I also have started up a blog about change, healthy changes, etc.

My blog, Change Is Possible, is here.

My website for Second Chance FitCenter (a work in progress, but OK for now) is here. I will be ready for appointments beginning some time in June.

Become a fan of Second Chance FitCenter on Facebook!

Check them out! If you like them, pass them along. My best friend right now is word of mouth!

Since I decided to stop doing a post a day, I have gotten a bit lazy over here. Well, lazy on the blog.

Fortunately, there's not much going on on the cancer front.

I was given a neat pair of silver earrings in the shape of a ribbon for my two years cancer free anniversary. I wore them to work one day and was asked if they were breast cancer earrings.

ARGH!!! NO!!!!

Shit. Ribbons don't even necessarily signify cancer awareness, much less cancer awareness. The pink ribbon has got to go.

I am still in the process of becoming a Certified Personal Trainer. I have big dreams of opening a small studio in my house where I can help fellow survivors make their bodies strong. I will definitely post more when I have more to post.

In the mean time, just living life. Lots going on at/for work, lots going on with the CPT stuff. I've managed to keep myself healthy so far this school year which is nice (and is no easy task!).

Life is good :-)

my amazing body

My two-year cancer-versary approaches. Chemo ended the week before Thanksgiving, 2007.

There are things with my body that still aren't right. There is muscle strength and endurance that, despite training with a trainer for well over a year, I haven't yet been able to regain. (I will get there, it's just taking an awfully long time.)

But this morning, I had the opportunity again to say F-you to cancer, to chemo, to radiation. I completed my second sprint triathlon :)

My body might not be right yet, or right ever, but I am going to use it and push it and take advantage of having it every day.

Also in the exercise realm, I just started the process to become a certified personal trainer. A far-off goal I have is to start a program for cancer survivors who want to start to get their bodies back (regardless of what shape their body was in before treatment or what shape treatment left it in). It's a ways off for now.

it seems like so long ago

I was just thinking tonight, while getting my ass kicked all over the place in spin class, that two years ago, I was in the hospital waiting for the results of the biopsy to tell me what kind of cancer I had. Tomorrow is the anniversary of getting the answer, and Sunday is the anniversary of chemo starting.

It is almost surreal.

It feels like a really long time ago. So much just plain ol' living has happened since then. How fabulous is that?

I am grateful to have a healthy body, and I'm doing my part to keep it that way!

I win :-)

Yesterday, I participated in my first-ever triathlon. It was "sprint" distance, with a 750-meter swim, a 21K bike ride (that's 13.5 miles) and a 5K (3.1-mile) run.

It was hard, and it was amazing, and it hurt, and it was wonderful, and it came one week before the two-year anniversary of me being admitted to the hospital for Hodgkins.

I have taken back my body from the chemo, and I plan to continue to work out, get stronger, gain endurance, and keep my body healthy and strong.

It feels great!

(If you'd like to read more about the race, you can read it here.)

my newest venture...

On Tuesday, I registered to compete in a triathlon! Race date is May 9. I'm not looking to win — just to finish. It should be a pretty amazing experience, I think.

In any case, I decided to blog about training for that. If you want to follow, that blog is here.

a long, fabulous moment of forgetting

On Saturday, I ran a 5K. I am thrilled to report that I beat my previous time by over 5 minutes :)

The race, of course, was outside. I put on my suncreen and didn't think about it again.

That's the first time I was able to "not think about it again" in roughly a year and a half. It felt good (once I realized I had done it) :)

I suspect that I haven't needed to be so concerned about it for a while - take precautions (sunsreen, long sleeves, umbrella when the sun is intense) and let it go. It was nice to let it go.


There have been a barrage of ads for a new(-ish?) cancer center in the area. They claim to have a wide array of services, including homeopathic docs. I wonder if they take patients who have completed treatment just to talk about lingering side effects and nutrition and things like that. I'm going to check into it.

On that topic, they have a billboard that reads, "Anyone who says winning isn't everything has never fought cancer" or something significantly close to that. My initial reaction was "fuck yeah!" but then I got to thinking about it ...

Having cancer has certainly changed my life (though not in the ways that most people inquired about - my partying hasn't decreased at all ;) ). And while of course I would have needed to survive in order for that to happen long-term, I don't think just getting through it would be considered a "win." Or maybe it'd be like a win because the other team forfeited. It seems to me that for cancer survival to be a win, there needs to come from it more than just surviving ... but that's just me.

Happy End to 2008!

Well, I am winding down 2008 with a slight cold but otherwise in fabulous condition :)

I have set a goal to complete a mini-triathlon by the end of 2009. That's a 750 (or sometimes 500)-meter swim, a 20 K (12.4 mile) bike ride, and a 5K (3.1 mile) run. Can I do that now? No. But I can do some of it, and I'm sure that in time, I will be able to do all of it. Honestly, I just want to be able to finish it. I can do that.

I swam 75 meters without stopping today, for the first time :) Baby steps...

I will be able to train with a trainer for a short while longer. In my ideal world, I'd train once a week with a trainer, year round. It's expensive, though :(

Here's to good health and toning up the body!

I didn't call...

By this point, a day after my massage, most of my soreness is gone :)

I was going to call the doc today — that was the plan over the weekend. I always plan out what I'm going to say. Since I'm going to be leaving a message, I want it to be as clear as possible. Well, while I was rehearsing said message, I realized how ridiculous and paranoid it sounded, so I didn't call. I haven't been itchy since Thursday night, which is the last night I went in the pool. My back is mostly better today, after a massage yesterday. It was just coincidence.

Thanks for putting up with my little freak-out session [sheepish grin]

I had a pool session with my trainer tonight, and it kicked my sorry butt. It was really good :) Just what I needed to ramp up my swimming.

Off to shower and put on some lotion and see if that helps the itch.

reclaiming my body, and some thoughts for Tam

I saw my abs today! It was their first sighting in a year and a half! I finally feel like I'm getting my body back. It has been slow, but little marks of progress along the way make it a little easier.

I decided earlier this week to "test" to see if I still need to wear sunscreen all the time (it's getting a little old...). I had a couple of errands to run each day but was mostly in the house, so I didn't put on sunscreen ... and I have a couple of faint sunspots on my face. Yup, still need to wear it. While I understand that it's a good idea to wear sunscreen in general, if I'm just going to the grocery store and back, it'd be nice to save the few minutes it takes to put it in, as well as saving the sunscreen for when I need it, as well as saving my skin from having that crap all over it. It's OK. It's my price for living right now. Chemo messed up my skin (temporarily), but chemo let me live to complain about it.


And Tam, I read your birthday blog post ... For whatever it's worth, the anti-nausea drugs they gave me made my vision blurry, but my eyes cleared up just about immediately after treatments ended. I had trouble with Neupogen, so they switched me to Neulasta - is that available to you? Maybe it would help more? I needed only one shot, and it sent my white cell count through the roof! I had all kinds of "chemo brain" and often had trouble holding a normal conversation because I couldn't think of words and because I would forget what I was talking about mid-sentence. It went away after treatments ended. I have a little trouble every now and then now, but it's mostly gone. And they said side effects could last for up to 18 months, and I'm still inside of that window. The butt problems went away, too.

As far as life after cancer and its problems ... no, it's not the same as it was Before. But it is good, or it can be good. The scans aren't endless - they just feel like it, especially because we have so much life left. Hell, I'll certainly outlive my oncologist by quite a margin! It is super-easy to get bogged down by all of the negative possibilities — there are so many of them! I have just decided that they are not a possibility, and I do my best to live so that my thoughts, my hopes, and my actions all match. It ain't always easy, but it's worth the work!!

If you want to talk, let's figure out a way to exchange e-mail addresses without posting them here. (If not, that's totally OK, too.)

Hope you are feeling a little better...

no more PETs!!

I had an appointment with my oncologist this afternoon. I already knew via phone call that I had another negative PET scan a couple of weeks ago, so I expected nothing useful in this doc's visit ... which is OK :)

So while there was no new info, per se, he did say that in three months, instead of getting another PET scan, I should have just a chest X-ray; he wants to limit my radiation exposure. Unless the X-ray shows something or I have symptoms, I am DONE with PET scans!!! Hooray!!! No more IVs! No more radioactive injections! Hooray hooray hooray!!!!

This whole stupid cancer thing is more and more becoming a thing of the past. Not that I'll ever be rid of it (and with all I've been through, why would I disown it?), but it sure is nice for bits and pieces of it to fall by the wayside!

My one-year-mark is in just over a month :)

And, unrelated, one of the chemo nurses came to talk to me just before I checked out. We were talking about health and fitness. We had talked while I was going through treatment, and she is recently having some troubles, blah blah. It was cool for her to seek me out, though :) She said she's considering joining my gym. We could be workout buddies :)

Ahhhhhhhhhh...... :) I feel good!

nothin'

Fortunately, there's been nothing noteworthy happening :) I'm back at work - and it's been crazy! I'm working out at the gym pretty regularly. My long-term goal is to do a mini-triathlon. Not sure what my time frame is. Depends on how well I can improve my swimming, really. We'll see...

In the mean time, I have a PET scan scheduled for late September and a doc's appointment shortly thereafter. I don't suspect there will be anything noteworthy, but I'll definitely let y'all know that there's nothing new to know ;)

Here's to being healthy, staying healthy, living life :)

it's been a year :) and other misc tidbits

Well, it's been a year since my first negative PET scan :) The docs are counting time from when chemo ended, which isn't for another several months, but I'm celebrating from the first sign of no cancer!!

One year down, 65 to go ;)

Also, I've been working out regularly, sometimes with a trainer. While it's frustrating that I'm not nearly as strong as I used to be, it feels good to exercise hard. I'm grateful to be back in that routine.

I have gotten together about 100 pages of my cancer book. I still have a lot to go (I wonder if it will be too long?!?), but it's been fun and interesting to work on it!

And last, if you see a Summer 2008 copy of "Spirit of Women" magazine, look inside — there is an article about me in there!

5K

I ran my first post-cancer run this morning.

I was in no way ready for it, but that's just how it goes sometimes.

It was fabulous.

At one point, kinda early on, I was a bit overwhelmed at the emotional significance that I've attached to it. I ran in this same event last year - the last 5K I ran before cancer - so I felt it to be fitting somehow to make it the first run after.

The same as last year, the course was hilly, so I was slower than I would have liked to be. I'm a flat-terrain runner :)

My goals for my first ever 5K, which was in the neighborhood of 5 years ago were:
1-finish it without walking (run the whole time)
2-don't come in last
3-don't die

I met all three goals for that race. I didn't quite meet them this time. At the water station (which we passed twice), I walked fast while drinking, in an effort to get more from the cup to the inside of my mouth. At one other point, there was a small hill that I just couldn't run up, so I walked. It was only about 10 steps. Honestly, if I had walked the whole race the same way that I walked those three times, I might have finished faster.

The time on the clock when I pulled in was 39:30. We can shave 20-30 seconds off of that for time lost at the gun, as I wasn't on the front line.

A funny story about that: there was a woman with an elementary-aged child near my friend and I, who ran together, as we were all crowded around waiting to go. As the "motion" started to make its way back to where we were, people started jogging, and I heard, "Oh! These people are fast! These are real runners! Look out! We'll wait for them to go!" I thought this was especially hilarious because I was back where she was because the "fast, real runners" were up front.

This is the first time that I've run a 2-lap race that I was slow enough to be finishing lap 1 while someone else finished the race. (It was at the 20-minute-mark.) That was kinda sad. But I didn't get passed by anyone pushing a double stroller this year, so it all evens out...

They had little fruit icee things, but by the time we slow ones pulled in, they were gone :(

In any case, I am super-glad I went. I'm glad my friend went - it was nice to talk while we were running, and I might not have finished if she wasn't there. I was feeling pretty dead at the end of the first lap. I caught a second wind and it was OK, though.

As far as the body and recent issues are concerned: my knees got sore within the first mile. I bitched them out (in my head), and they were OK the rest of the run. They're a little sore now, but not bad.

I felt kind of the same as the last time I went running (really tired, short of breath) for a while, but it burned off, so I was glad about that :)

All-in-all, an excellent way to spend an early Sunday morning :-) I think I'll do another...

every now and then, it taps me on the shoulder...

It’s all kind of surreal.

It’s different than denial.

I mean, I know I had cancer.

I remember a lot of it more clearly than I would like to.

Yet it still doesn’t feel real, somehow.

I had an appointment at the radiologist’s this morning, to check on my swollen node. It’s still swollen, but it’s about the same as its been all along. (It was kind of annoying, actually. From the time I got out of my car to the time I got back in was 15 minutes. I could have just called and said, “Yep, I’ve been checking it every day, and it’s still the same.”)

I noticed on my way in and out that the paintings we did at the Day of Art are framed and hanging in the hallway. I could see mine. Mine was a tribute to all of the people who carried me through the journey: medical staff, husband, friends, family. It is not a fabulous painting, but it says what I wanted it to say.

Seeing it made me want to cry. Writing about it makes me want to cry. I can’t entirely pinpoint why, either.

I went running Saturday late afternoon. It was easily the hottest it’s been for an outdoor run for me since before diagnosis, and the sun, while low, was still up. I did my usual 2-mile (my house up to Baseline and back), which I’ve been able to run without walking for quite some time now.

I couldn’t run it.

I ran all the way to Baseline and did a combination walk/run the whole way back. The whole second mile. I was completely out of breath and tired. (Legs felt OK.)

This funky incident (which was most likely a result of me not being used to the weather), had me in tears by the time I cooled down. I was out of breath, which is a problem I haven’t had, which *must* mean there’s something wrong, which *must* mean that the long-dead cancer is causing problems.

Shit.

I wonder if this paranoia ever goes away. I don’t like it.

Well, in any case, I have an appointment with the oncologist this afternoon. Questions I have:

- when do the side effects of the chemo wear off once and for good?
- I love being outside in the sun. As long as I wear sunscreen vigilantly, is the sun something I need to avoid? Are clothes sufficient barriers, or do I need more sunscreen than I thought?
- is the restriction on hot tubs, hot showers, massages, etc. permanent, or was that just during treatment?
- the funky blue veins in my chest are still visible, and the area inside my left collar bone is still slightly swollen. Shouldn’t that have gone away by now?
- please listen to my lungs – I had some issues when I was running over the weekend.

*sigh*

Yeah, if you have the opportunity to miss sharing this adventure, that would be a good thing.

swollen node, exercise

I saw the radiologist yesterday (for an appointment that was scheduled on my last day of radiation). He checked out my still-swollen lymph node, measured it, said he wants to see me back in 4 weeks, and if it gets any bigger, they'll have to biopsy it. I knew that already. So on March 24, I'm seeing both docs: one before school and one after school. *sigh*



I recently joined 24 Hour Fitness. It has been fabulous getting back to the gym, lifting weights, not running alongside traffic, etc. My membership package came with four training sessions. I'm looking forward to them :)

If you ever want to get me a gift, they sell gift cards :)

I still need to pick a 5K to run in March. We'll see about that...



Hair picture in a few days!

It's been 8 months...

...since the last time I worked out at a gym. Almost to the day. (Last gym visit was May 14 - I had a session with my trainer.)

I went this afternoon :)

Of course, I can't lift anything close to what I used to. Except for dips, I didn't do any upper body on more than 20 pounds. I can still leg press more than my weight, which pleased me, even though it's over 100 pounds less than where I left off. I also was able to do leg lefts with my legs straight (bent knees is much easier) for a set and a half, which made me happy; I was mentally prepared not to be able to lift those straight legs even once.

Now, I didn't do many exercises to failure, so I might have been able to lift more, but at this point, I just want to start to get back into a routine and get my muscles used to doing some work ... without being sore for 3 days.

I also did some elliptical, which completely kicked my ass. I was a little surprised about that, since I have been running some, but it is what it is. I haven't done any running since last weekend, which would contribute, too.

In any case, I worked out for about an hour (maybe a little less) and was exhausted and happy at the end. :)

Related: I don't actually have a gym membership now. I used a "try our gym free for a few days" pass at LA Fitness. It's good through Tuesday. Then I'll do the same at 24Hour Fitness. Then at another gym. Until I've tried out all the ones in the area that I'd like to try. Then I'll join one. If you have a recommendation (for or against) any gyms in the east Valley, lay 'em out there!

misc goings-on

I've been having some chest pain for a while now, similar to that which was previously associated with the shots I got after chemo to keep my white blood cell counts up.

It has persisted though the shots have not. Last time I saw the doc, he said to call if it got worse. Over the weekend, it got worse. It was almost constant (as opposed to very intermittent) and was more intense. Now, don't get me wrong — it has never been excessively painful, even at its increased intensity (I've never taken even an Advil for it, much less anything stronger) — but it's not supposed to be there at all. If I knew it was nothing serious and would go away eventually, I wouldn't think about it at all. But I don't know that yet.

So I went in to see him yesterday. He asked a bunch of questions (same ones he's asked before) and basically ruled out a cardiac problem. It doesn't bother me any more or less when I exercise, and I'm not short of breath or anything like that. I'm set up for a bunch of tests to guess-and-check, starting with a bone scan tomorrow. I don't know what they entail or how long they are, but I'll know soon...

Of course, it hasn't bothered me at all for the last three days. If it stays away, I'm going to see about maybe cancelling the second and third tests — they're not until the 21st. I see the doc again next week on Wednesday, so I'll perhaps have more info then.

In other health news, all bodily systems are up and running as they should be (or at least close to normal) as of about a week and a half ago. Body is healing from the chemo and isn't failing yet from radiation.

Five radiation treatments done, twelve to go.

They're changing my treatments on Tuesday. My time changes Monday and Tuesday (to accommodate my work schedule). I've been going at 8 a.m. Monday I go at 6:20 (!!). Tuesday onward I go at 5:50. Yes, a.m. Pretty heinous. I haven't decided yet if I'm going to leave there (well before 6:15) and go to work, go home and take a nap, or go to the gym. They all have perks and drawbacks that I am too lazy to type right now.

Oh, and there's a possible kink in the hair project: I am going to a wedding in the end of March. Depending on what it looks like by then, I may be wanting a trim. We'll see.

Earlier this week, I was able to jog two miles without walking. This is the first time since May that I've been able to do that. I'm looking forward to being back up to 5K stamina and am hoping/planning to run a 5K in March or April. I think that's a reasonable goal...

reclaiming my body

Before all this cancer crap, I was in good physical condition, was the slimmest I've been my whole life, was eating well without a lot of effort (took a lot of effort to get there, though!!!). I had recently achieved my personal goal of a 5K (3.1 miles) in less than half an hour.

Three weeks in the hospital, followed by chemotherapy, didn't allow for my usual workout routine (5 days/week, 1 day/week with a trainer). While I have been able to do a bit of exercise in various ways through the course of things, my body just ain't what it was. While frustrating, this is certainly to be expected, given the circumstances.

I've been starting to eat better again (will jump completely back on that wagon once there aren't any more holiday parties), and I've been jogging/walking almost with regularity.

Today, for the first time since May, I was able to jog two miles without walking. It felt fabulous :) :) I feel like I am taking my body back. The cancer tried to get it, the meds did a number on it, and it's my turn again. There is a significant chance that the radiation will take its turn, but I'm not worried about that now. If it happens, I'll deal with it.

In the mean time, I am reclaiming my body, and it feels wonderful :)