Wednesday, October 17, 2007

looking back, looking forward

Well, the last rounds of chemo loom ominously.

I have had 4 fabulous weeks since my last chemo treatment, 4 weeks without the PICC in my arm. It's been good.

I didn't feel as good as I had thought/hoped/planned to feel during much of those four weeks, but that's just how it goes sometimes. Given how I was feeling two weeks ago, I was very grateful to be missing a treatment.

But now, within the last two or three days, I have all regular body functions back: I have an appetite, I am able to use the bathroom without a laxative, I am able to sleep without Benadryl.

Exercise still completely wipes me out, though I was able to bike to my blood draw yesterday morning without napping in the afternoon. Slept well last night. I have been able to go walk/jogging a few times, done some pushups and situps and other such nonsense. It feels good to exercise :)

Since I went to see Dr. Oncology a week early, it has been five weeks since I've seen him. Not sure what I'll say to him tomorrow, if anything.

I went and had my PICC put back in this morning. The PICC nurse, as it turns out, remembers me from when they tried to put in an IV that nasty day over the summer (when several nice ladies tried and failed). There are quite a few people in the hospital who remember me from that day, which is a bit embarrassing. I made sure to point out, when she was done, that I made a fine patient today. She laughed and agreed.

Anyway, it's back in. My arm is pretty sore. It was pretty sore last time, too, but it went away within three or four days. I suspect the same will happen this time around as well.

I am hoping that the break from chemo will kind of "reset" the body's tolerance, and that this weekend will be more like early weekends were and less like recent weekends. They've been hitting harder lately, and I'm hoping not to pick up where I left off in that regard.

I only needed to deal with a few completely stupid cancer/chemo comments at the wedding reception. Not bad... Most people just asked how I was and walked away after my stock answer: "I feel good, or I wouldn't be here." A few were interested in more information, which I'm happy to share, but most of my conversations this past weekend were three to four sentences long. I hate that, but that's how it goes sometimes. I figure, half of those people probably wouldn't have talked to me at all if not for cancer. Which is better...?

Happily, I did have some nice conversations with people who I haven't talked with in a long time. That was nice.

Back to the cancer thing.

My hair has definitely grown in quite a bit. I'm not sure if it's thicker than it was last photo time (about a month ago), but it's longer, and it almost looks like I have this 'do on purpose. We'll see where it goes from here...

And that's about all for the moment. Chemo tomorrow morning. Then only two more...

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