quick update on the doc's appointment

Well, I forgot my paper with my questions, so I didn't remember to ask them all.

I wear sunscreen on all uncovered parts whenever I leave the house. Today, I am wearing short sleeves, so I put sunscreen on my arms before leaving work. By the time I got to the doc's, my right arm was sunburned. That kinda answered the sun question. I asked anyway, and he said that it would be best if I wore long sleeves. "Indefinitely?" "For a while." I'm not sure how long that is, and I didn't inquire. So I'm going now to look for one or two long-sleeved shirts (one definitely in white) that I can wear over my short sleeves when I'm outside.

I've been having the weird skin sensitivity lately, like I had during chemo. It's not nearly as bad, but it is noticeable. I asked about that, and he said that he wasn't concerned about it. (The doc's answers aren't great for those of us who like to know "why" -- he's just answering from a "should I be concerned" perspective.)

He listened to my lungs without my request, and he said nothing about them, so I assume they are fine. If I continue to have the same problem with exercising, I'll call.

The swollen node is about the same - everyone agrees - so no action necessary at this time. I should call right away if I notice a change for the worse (no kidding!!).

And I'll have another PET scan 3 months from the previous, so that will be mid-to-late May, the year-mark of when this all started. The end of the school year approaching is raising a bit of anxiety in me. Funny, since the point in the school year had nothing to do with everything that happened. Ahhh, associations.

So that's where it's at right now.

every now and then, it taps me on the shoulder...

It’s all kind of surreal.

It’s different than denial.

I mean, I know I had cancer.

I remember a lot of it more clearly than I would like to.

Yet it still doesn’t feel real, somehow.

I had an appointment at the radiologist’s this morning, to check on my swollen node. It’s still swollen, but it’s about the same as its been all along. (It was kind of annoying, actually. From the time I got out of my car to the time I got back in was 15 minutes. I could have just called and said, “Yep, I’ve been checking it every day, and it’s still the same.”)

I noticed on my way in and out that the paintings we did at the Day of Art are framed and hanging in the hallway. I could see mine. Mine was a tribute to all of the people who carried me through the journey: medical staff, husband, friends, family. It is not a fabulous painting, but it says what I wanted it to say.

Seeing it made me want to cry. Writing about it makes me want to cry. I can’t entirely pinpoint why, either.

I went running Saturday late afternoon. It was easily the hottest it’s been for an outdoor run for me since before diagnosis, and the sun, while low, was still up. I did my usual 2-mile (my house up to Baseline and back), which I’ve been able to run without walking for quite some time now.

I couldn’t run it.

I ran all the way to Baseline and did a combination walk/run the whole way back. The whole second mile. I was completely out of breath and tired. (Legs felt OK.)

This funky incident (which was most likely a result of me not being used to the weather), had me in tears by the time I cooled down. I was out of breath, which is a problem I haven’t had, which *must* mean there’s something wrong, which *must* mean that the long-dead cancer is causing problems.

Shit.

I wonder if this paranoia ever goes away. I don’t like it.

Well, in any case, I have an appointment with the oncologist this afternoon. Questions I have:

- when do the side effects of the chemo wear off once and for good?
- I love being outside in the sun. As long as I wear sunscreen vigilantly, is the sun something I need to avoid? Are clothes sufficient barriers, or do I need more sunscreen than I thought?
- is the restriction on hot tubs, hot showers, massages, etc. permanent, or was that just during treatment?
- the funky blue veins in my chest are still visible, and the area inside my left collar bone is still slightly swollen. Shouldn’t that have gone away by now?
- please listen to my lungs – I had some issues when I was running over the weekend.

*sigh*

Yeah, if you have the opportunity to miss sharing this adventure, that would be a good thing.

update on the node

the swollen lymph node (from however long ago) is still swollen but barely. i can still find it 'cause i know where to look, but i wouldn't find it by accident like i did before. i am assuming this is a good sign and that we needn't worry about it any more :)

docs' appointments on the 24th (one in the a.m., one in the p.m.), so i'll have confirmation by then.

the hair project 3-3-08

Well ... I took my digital camera to school last week and left it there over the weekend, so this month's picture is a couple of days late... Anyway, this is what it's looking like these days. The style is gel-free, though sometimes it needs gel. Don't know why.

swollen node, exercise

I saw the radiologist yesterday (for an appointment that was scheduled on my last day of radiation). He checked out my still-swollen lymph node, measured it, said he wants to see me back in 4 weeks, and if it gets any bigger, they'll have to biopsy it. I knew that already. So on March 24, I'm seeing both docs: one before school and one after school. *sigh*



I recently joined 24 Hour Fitness. It has been fabulous getting back to the gym, lifting weights, not running alongside traffic, etc. My membership package came with four training sessions. I'm looking forward to them :)

If you ever want to get me a gift, they sell gift cards :)

I still need to pick a 5K to run in March. We'll see about that...



Hair picture in a few days!

I'm 3 for 3, baby!

I had a doctor's appointment this afternoon (that I managed not to miss...), at which I got the results of Monday's PET scan.

It's negative!!

I'm not terribly surprised, but with this little swollen node thing going on in my neck, there was a larger-than-average possibility that it would have not turned out so well...

Speaking of that node ... the doc asked if I'm OK with it, which I am (for now). He said that if it's really a problem for me, that he would be OK with taking it out, but that if I'm not freaking out, that a wait-and-see approach would be fine.

I see the radiologist on Monday. The oncologist said to be sure to get his opinion about it.

That's all the health news on this front. Another hair picture in a week or so - it's getting long!

ONE TRY!!!!!

I had a PET scan this morning. They take a while (total time at the office without waiting = 2 hours), but they don't hurt or have side effects or anything.

But they do require an IV :(

This is the third PET scan I've had. The other two, just like the chemo, always required three attempts before the IV was in and working.

I told the guy this morning that if he got it in one try, he'd be my best friend.

He did :) It is the first IV I've gotten since the ER that went in without lots of poking and digging.

Results on Thursday.

cold...

OK, not so happy to have a cold now. Yes yes, it's still better than cancer (my goodness!), but I'm ready to be healthy again...

quick update

I woke up significantly congested this morning - I've never been happier to have a cold.

The lymph node is still swollen but less so.

Good news :)

thoughts from the doc

I called this morning for an appointment. They had a 1:00 appointment with the nurse available. I took it.

The nurse agreed that my left neck lymph node was swollen and inquired about sore throats, nasal drainage and the like. I've had some of each every morning when I woke up, but it clears up during the day. (I've been chugging Emergen-C, gargling with salt water, and using the NetiPot in an effort to stave this thing off ... getting enough sleep might help, too...) She said that was likely the reason for the swelling and she'd get me an antibiotic. OK. She left, and I waited ... and waited ... and waited ...

When she finally came back, she said the doc was going to squeeze me in, if I didn't mind waiting. No problem with waiting. I was grateful.

He came in, checked out my neck and armpits, asked the same questions that the nurse had asked. He said that his recommendation would be to come back in two weeks. He said it's probably from the cold I'm fighting off, but that we need to be cautious given my history. He said he could do a biopsy right then, but he wouldn't recommend it. If it *is* cancer again, two weeks isn't going to make a difference. If it's not cancer again, in two weeks, it'll be gone. So I have an appointment for two weeks from yesterday. If it gets any bigger, I should call right away.

I also will be having a PET scan (which was in the works anyway) and should have the results of that at the same appointment.

So that's where it's at. Here's to it all being just a cold .....