Thursday, April 9, 2009

sick ≠ cancer

Three passing things, all somewhat related...

First, I have some kind of upper respiratory infection thing going on. Haven't had a fever in a couple of days, but I'm coughing off and on like mad and have close to no voice. My throat hurt really badly for a few days but is feeling mostly better. In the days that I was feverish, I knew it was because of whatever viruses were ravaging my body ... but that doesn't stop the little cancer voice from reminding me: persistent, low-grade fever is a symptom of Hodgkins.

How can I get that little voice to turn off? If I had a persistent low-grade fever for no apparent reason, then perhaps I should be concerned, but sheesh — I was sick!

As a result of said sickness, I missed a dress rehearsal and a performance. When my hubby told the conductor I was missing because I was sick, his reaction was, "Sick sick?!" No... I appreciate the concern (and I enjoy the director very much), but I can be just plain ol' regular sick...

Last, things here have been really stressful recently, peaking over the weekend. Enter that little voice again: you know, the doctor said that the first tumor's growth was most likely triggered by stress, and the first two years are the time most likely to see a recurrence. You know, you're still in the first two years, and you've been having some massive stress. Wonder how your lymph nodes are doing...

If anyone knows how to either turn off or re-program that little voice, I'd appreciate the info...